Amazing grace

"The gospel is that you are more wicked and flawed than you ever dared believe, and more loved and accepted than you ever dared hope..."

Tim Keller


I am Peter. I am stubborn and proud. I put my foot in my mouth. I say the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. I fly off the handle. I am Peter when I say I have the faith to walk on water, yet I am even more Peter when that faith subsides and I sink into the stormy waters of doubt. Sometimes I am like Peter in my strength, my courage, my boldness, but all too often, I am like Peter in my fear. I long to be the Peter who is called The Rock, the one on whom Christ built his church, but instead, I am the Peter who sleeps in the Garden, the Peter who denies my Savior in his greatest time of need.

I am David. So often, though, not the David that is seeking after God's own heart, the David that slew Goliath. I am the David who longs for Bathsheba; the David that lets my eyes wander to things that are not good for me and are not mine to take. I cover my sins to protect my own image...I am the David who killed Uriah out of fear and greed.

I am Moses. No, not the brave Moses who led the Israelites out of Egypt. I am the Moses who murdered an enemy and tried to bury him in the sand. I find myself not trusting what God is doing. I question his plan for me. I question his ability to work through my flaws. I am the Moses who is afraid to speak out because I might fail. And I am the Moses who blatantly disobeys God's instructions for me. I strike the rock when I know full well that God has commanded me to speak to it. I hear the words of the Lord, but I continue to go my own way.

I am Jacob, deceiving those around me to get what I want. I am Zechariah, questioning whether the promises of God will actually come true. I am Solomon, sucked into a world of fame and riches at the expense of honor and righteousness. I am Thomas, doubting that Christ is who he says he is. I am Lot's wife, so deathly afraid of what's to come ahead that I can't stop looking back at where I've been. And I am Judas, betraying my Savior for thirty silver coins.


But above all else, I am covered by grace. Grace that pardons my sin and redeems my soul. Grace that transforms my flaws into vessels for God's glory. Grace that frees me for freedom's sake. Grace that declares there is no condemnation. Grace that affirms that, despite my sin and flaws and mistakes and detours, I am a dearly beloved child of God. Grace that, when it's all said and done, saves a wretch like me.