Sex and the City

And by "sex," I mean gender. And by gender, I mean that I would like to discuss a breed of man that New York City has bizarrely created in recent years:

The gay straight man.

Now if you have heard my very official analysis known as "the inverted pyramid of dating in Manhattan" (I can draw it on a napkin for you if you like, I've done it at plenty a Sunday brunch), you know the deal with why dating men is so ridiculously tricky in New York: If they're not married or in a relationship, they're gay. If they're not gay, they're Jewish, while I am quite the Easter and Christmas-celebrating Gentile. If they're not Jewish, they're unemployed. And if they have a job, they are weird, afraid of commitment, perverted or just plain evil. You may think that there are millions of men in New York - which there are, at the wide top of the pyramid - but in reality, when you whittle down to the narrow point, there are 4 that would actually be a compatible match for my single, interested-in-men-who-like-women, all-around nice and normal self. Or 0. I haven't decided.

But, much to my chagrin, there is another type of guy that does not fall into any particular category in my pyramid scheme - the aforementioned gay straight man. Who is the gay straight man, you might ask? Well, for you who clearly do not reside in New York City, please allow me to elaborate...

The gay straight man (hereafter GSM) is a modern-day marvel, a mystery to all single women like myself. According to Carrie Bradshaw, who, in her fictitious world also encountered my million dollar question, "The gay straight man was a new strain of heterosexual males spawned in Manhattan as a result of overexposure to fashion, exotic cuisine, musical theater, and antique furniture." Citing Ryan Seacrest as his inspiration, the GSM has taken it upon himself to have all of the external characteristics of a gay guy, yet he continues to be interested in and date women. GSM's try to convince you that they are just "metrosexual," but come on - there is quite the difference in being well-groomed and an unhealthy obsession with America's Next Top Model.

The GSM makes the already baffling dating scene in New York City downright impossible. Once you get through the normal filter questions that work in the rest of the country, such as 'Where do you work?" (acceptable answers include accounting firms, universities, and hospitals; unacceptable answers include "the bar on the corner of Ave C and Delancey," investment banks, PR agencies, or silence followed by a change of subject) or "Where do you live?" (acceptable: Upper West Side, Gramercy, select neighborhoods in Brooklyn; unacceptable: Chelsea, New Jersey, "Beijing, I'm just here on business"), you have a whole other slew of questions to go through with the GSM. Is he gay? Or is he straight? Does he like me? Or does he just want to go shopping at Bloomingdale's with me for my new spring lipstick? Am I excited that I have someone to go to concerts and romantic comedies with? Or am I freaked out that his Facebook profile sites "Kelly Clarkson!" and "Pretty Woman!" as his favorites (with those exact! exclamation! points!)? Is he "friendly"? Or "bubbly"? Am I thrilled that I am finally not dating a guy who wears a brown belt with black shoes? Or intimidated when he picks me up and says, "Wow, love the new Sevens!"? Should I be relieved that I don't have to sit at home for 13 hours on a Saturday to watch football? Or should I be running the other direction because he didn't play sports in high school, he opted for ballet?

There are no easy answers, my friends. The GSM is alive and thriving in the Big Apple, and it's up to me to decode his mystery. Wish me luck! (That would just be fabulous! xoxo!)

Billboards got you down?

"Baby's just a little bit tired of the city,
Billboards and [edit] got her down,
Seems like you need a little hill country,
A little back roads driving, little bit of the old top down

Yeah, everybody gotta get away sometime,
Forget about yourself for awhile,
Seems to me that all you need is a ragtop car to ride with me...
Okay, all right, heaven only knows what's gonna happen tonight,
I'm okay, I'm all right, carry on"

Pat Green

I'll admit, I got spoiled by my company's stellar vacation policy in November and December. Due to a stacked combination of office closings and personal vacation days, last week was the first 5-day week I had worked since before Thanksgiving...which made that 5-day week seem like it lasted, oh, a millenium? Even though I'd only been back from New Years for less than two weeks, I was already well in need of a vacation.

Lucky for me, there's a lovely little holiday in mid-January called Martin Luther King, Jr day where we get a 3-day weekend. At first blush, the long weekend may seem too close to the Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years holiday season to truly appreciate, but NO! It is, in fact, perfectly planned to give you a break as you try to ease in to the cold, wintery, major-holiday-less months.

To celebrate the weekend, Sarah, Lauren, Michelle and I planned a little outing to the Poconos. I don't really know much about the Poconos except that they are in Pennsylvania and that my roommate, a native Pennsylvanian, said they're kind of hokey. I'm thinking they're a Southerner's equivalent of the North Georgia mountains, like going to Helen or Brasstown Bald. However, regardless of the Poconos' cache, or lack thereof, we set out Saturday morning in our rental car, iPod blasting Beyonce and Justin Timberlake, for Bartonsville, PA for a trip out of the City.

I must say - it was a fabulous weekend, start to finish. I love New York City more than anywhere in the world, but sometimes it's just nice to get a way and relax. We drove (recall, Sarah drove. I would rather eat walk on hot coals or even broccoli than attempt to drive a car in Manhattan) our little Ford Focus station wagon an hour and a half out I-80 and promptly arrived for a rainy, gloomy weekend in the Poconos.

It was a perfect three days...full of talking, outlet mall shopping, playing cards and board games, reading, eating junk food, watching chick flicks and several hours of 24 (ps Life doesn't hand Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants), and sleeping in. We stayed in a cute little home on a foggy lake, and on Sunday, we didn't even leave the house for as much as a trip to the car. Monday, on our way out of town, we ventured to Target, a stop that would obviously make even a weekend in Siberia perfect. I don't think I've laughed as hard as I did this weekend in a long time...I would share the jokes, but I have a feeling they won't translate from the lazy girls' weekend to blog writing. Let it just be said that our local town directions began with "go right past the gun shop," we got a parking ticket, because, as we all know, if I am within 4 feet of a vehicle, a ticket will be somehow be involved, and we played a board game called Would You Rather? that prompted us to poll all of our guy friends on some very interesting topics. All in all, the weekend was just what I needed, and a sweet reminder of the wonderful friends I am blessed with. :)

Now, how long 'til Presidents' Day?

So this is the new year...

Every year around this time, I get quite sentimental...interesting how, even though Jan 1 is just the day after Dec 31, it always feels like you're closing a chapter and opening a brand new one. Nevertheless, despite the banality of any given calendar date, I always take time at the end (/beginning, depending on how you look at it) of each year to reflect on where I've been and imagine where I might be going.

In most ways, 2006 was a banner year for change in my life. I started the year in Atlanta, ended it in New York...started at Fitzgerald, ended at Initiative...started living in Buckhead with Jessica and Erin, ended living with Leslie on the Upper East Side of Manhattan...started at Buckhead Church, ended at Gallery...in fact, I literally started the year in a mountain house in Cashiers, NC with Sean's "cousins" ;) and ended it just a mile away from the famous (infamous?) Times Square ball drop with Dick Clark, Ryan Seacrest, and millions of crazy people with sparkly hats and glasses. From the outside looking in, there is hardly a single thing that stayed consistent from the first of January to the last day of December. Even though I already had the itch to move to New York at the start of the year, I can honestly say that I had no idea everything that 2006 would hold.

But when I take a deeper look, I must confess that I find myself wondering...how much of my life has really changed? Death Cab sings 'So this is the New Year, and I don't feel any different'...and in an almost-eerie way, I find myself identifying with them somewhere in the back of my head. Yes my circumstances are completely different. But am I a different person? Over the last 12 months, have I become a better friend? Am I more thoughtful and a better listener? Did I learn new things? Did the small world around me become better over the course of the year because of me? And most importantly, did my faith grow? Am I closer to the Lord today than I was a year ago? Am I wiser? Do I know more of his character? Is my own character more like his? And is anyone in my life closer to the Lord today than they were last year because of me?

These are the thoughts that go through my head as I look forward to 2007. My external circumstances are only slightly in my control...where I live, where I work, who I spend my time with. But if I know anything, it is that my "plans" are futile that and God can alter the course of my life in a split second. I can wonder all day long where I will be on December 31, 2007, but at the end of the day, the wondering is just that. I can, however, commit to a true banner year for change...the change that comes from the inside, the change that sprouts from a genuine commitment to pursue the Lord and grow in him. And I can leave my wondering as a mere curiosity, knowing that no matter where I am at the end of the year, I am in God's hands, that he is faithful, and that he is capable of doing exceeding abundantly more than all I ask or imagine.

2006 was a fabulous year, full of joyous highs and disappointing yet strengthening lows, and I couldn't be more grateful for the year and all that the Lord blessed me with. Cheers to 2007...come New Years Eve next year, may we all look back on the year with a smile knowing that it was the best yet.

:)