Y'all. You know how on Friends they have Ugly Naked Guy?! Well, at Initiative, we have Ugly Naked Girl. Okay, actually I won't say that she's ugly, because a) that is not nice, and b) she is too far away to see her face. Nevertheless, though, she is a girl (or actually, a middle-aged woman) and she is NA. KED.
We've named _____ Naked Girl 'Hilde.' Hilde lives in an apartment building directly across from our office, one floor down. Every day, like clockwork, Hilde takes a shower, no, sponge bath, at 10:30am. Oh, and did I mention her shower has a window? A BIG window?
To make matters worse, Hilde's shower window has blinds. We can see them. However, the blinds are not closed; they are scrunched up at the top of the window, at all times. Also, Hilde either has an itty bitty shower (quite likely in New York), or she gets in the shower every day and thinks, "Hmm, how close to the window can I stand?"
Hilde's escapades are an office phenomenon. Poor thing, everyone knows about her. Right around 10:30am, you know she's there...and because our offices have large windows that face directly to her, sometimes she's almost unavoidable. It's quite disturbing and bizarre and fascinating, like a train wreck or the comeback of parachute pants.
Today, we had the thought that perhaps Hilde would be able to see a sign if we posted it in the window. I'm a fan of, "Please close the blinds," although I'm sure my coworkers could come up with something a bit more creative.
So lesson learned. Always close your blinds. You never know what crazy New Yorkers are watching you, learning your schedules, giving you a nickname and, perhaps worst of all, blogging about you.
Phoebe: Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it, our naked buddy is moving.
Ross: Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled clothes.